The Mizzie Horror Show
by TheSanityStealingPenguinQueen
Summary: The cast of Les Miserables preforming, you guessed it, The Rocky Horror Show. Enjoy.
1. Part assignments

A/N: I'm back. Gee, its been awhile, hasn't it. Today I bring you...that's right folks, a Rocky Horror/Les Miz crossover. The characters of Les Miz preforming Rocky in all its voyeuristic splendor. Who will get what part? Who will want to murder/arrest the director (me)? And the question on all of our minds; Who will we get to see in corsets and garters? Stay tuned to find out.

(The various Mizzies are assembled in a large auditorium. They are impatiently waiting for the director to show up. Eventually she does. Kat enters.)

**Kat**: Hoopla Mizzies!

**Enjolras**: Hoopla? What language is that?

**Kat:** Rockyish. I welcome you all to the auditorium which I have added to my basement when my mother was taking naps.

**Valjean: **May I ask what we're doing here?

**Kat:** You may.

(Silence.)

**Valjean:** Well?

**Kat:** I was waiting for you to ask.

**Valjean:** Oh...What are we doing here?

**Kat:** You are all going to preform a version of The Rocky Horror Show.

**Gavroche:** What the hell is that?

**Cosette:** Daddy, that boy swore. We must save him.

**Kat: **This isn't the place to be saving anyone.

**Cosette: **What do you mean?

**Kat**: Let's just say that people stand outside theaters protesting this play because its "sinful".

**Valjean: **If its sinful, than why do people watch it.

**Kat**: Because its sinful.

**Valjean:** There are people who enjoy sinning?

**Kat:** Yes.

(This is confusing many of our Mizzie friends)

**Kat: **(sighs) When I call your name you answer and I'll give you your role. Javert.

**Javert**: Here.

**Kat**: You'll be playing Frank N. Furter. (Eponine bursts out laughing)

**Javert:** What?

**Eponine**: Nothing...nothing at all. (Continues to laugh)

**Kat:** May I continue? (Eponine nods) Good. Cosette?

**Cosette:** (angelically) Yes?

**Kat:** You'll be playing Janet Weiss.

**Cosette: **Is she a good, pure Christian?

**Kat:**...Um...yes...Marius?(no answer) Marius? (Still no answer. Kat goes to erase his name off of the cast list.)

**Laigle: **(Falsetto) Here.

**Kat: **Why are you using a falsetto?

**Laigle:** I don't know.

**Marius**: Sorry I'm late. I got into an argument with my shoelace.

**Kat:** Not going to ask. You'll be playing Brad Majors.

**Eponine:** No fair! I want to play Janet!

**Marius:** Do I get to work with Cosette?

**Kat: **Well...yeah, but you're not the only one.

**Marius:** What do you mean?

**Kat**: Nothing. (Clears throat.) Gavroche?

**Gavroche:** 'Ere.

**Kat: **You'll be playing Riff Raff.

**Gavroche:** What do I get to do?

**Kat**: Lurk and shoot people with lasers.

**Gavroche:** I can do that!

**Kat**: I'm sure you can. Eponine.

**Eponine:** Yes.

**Kat: **You'll be Magenta.

**Eponine**: EEW! Riff's being played by my brother! Did you realize that?

**Kat:** Yes. I did that on purpose.

**Eponine:** Sicko.

**Kat:** I love my job. Fantine?

**Fantine**: Yes?

**Kat**: You'll be playing Columbia.

**Fantine**: Please tell me I get to dress modestly. I've had enough of indecency.

**Kat:** You're all going to hate me. Jean Valjean?

**Valjean:** Here.

**Kat:** You'll be playing Dr. Everett Scott.

**Valjean:** A doctor. That's respectable.

**Kat.** Yup. Enjolras?

**Enjolras:** Yes.

**Kat: **You'll be playing Rocky Horror.

**Enjolras**: The title character?

**Grantaire**: Typical.

**Kat**: You'll enjoy this R, you'll get to see Enjolras wearing next to nothing.

**Enjolras: **WHAT?

**Kat: **Oh, nothing. Grantiare?

**Grantaire: **You know I'm here, you were just talking to me.

**Kat: **Are you here or not?

**Grantaire**: Here.

**Kat**: You'll be playing Eddie. Thenardier?

**Thenardier:** What?

**Kat: **You'll be playing the one character who does nothing questionable, the Criminologist.

**Thenardier**: That's a very big word.

**Kat: **You'll be okay. The rest of you-

**Javert: **WAIT! What do you mean "the only character who does nothing questionable"?

**Kat:** You're an intelligent man. Figure it out. As I was saying, the rest of you are wedding guests and Transylvanians.

**Montparnasse:** But we're French.

**Kat: **Big hand for 'Parnasse everyone. He knows his nationality!

A/N: End first chapter. How did you like it? Looking forward to the upcoming madness? Well review and I may update.


	2. The Mizzies air their grievences

A/N: Hello once more. Here I am updating. It took awhile because my internet wasn't working. Curse you internet!

**Eponine:** Kat!

**Kat:** What?

**Eponine:** Why can't I play Janet?

**Kat**: A: You don't look the part. B: You can't sing the part. C: You'd spend the entire time flirting with Marius.

**Eponine**: So?

**Kat:** So...it would make the entire production more than a little bit awkward.

**Eponine:** Fine. Well can I at least sing Science Fiction Double Feature?

**Kat:** Why?

**Eponine**: It's my song.

**Kat**: Since when?

**Eponine**: Since I said so.

**Kat:** That's a stupid comeback.

**Eponine**: I don't care. Can I?

**Kat**: No. I am.

**Eponine:** Why you?

**Kat:** Well, we wanted to get Richard O'Brien to do it, but I still can't violate my restraining order, so that makes it kind of hard.

**Eponine:** Who's we?

**Kat**: Me.

**Eponine: **Why say 'we'?

**Kat**: It makes me sound important.

**Eponine**: It makes you sound stupid.

**Kat:** That's what you think.

**Eponine:** Yes it is. (Begins to leave, but then remembers something and turns around.) You can take your show and stick it up your ass.

(Cosette overhears.)

**Cosette:** (To Kat) How dare you make this unfortunate young thing use such foul language?

**Kat:** Me? I didn't force anyone to do anything. (Pause) Yet.

**Cosette**: You ought to be ashamed of yourself. You are a very sinful person.

**Kat:** (flirtatiously) You have no idea.

(Cosette's face adapts a look of pure horror. She escapes.)

**Eponine:** What the hell was that for?

Kat: Do you think I would dote on that bubbly, happy, creepy, girl without some point and purpose? I would not have touched her with my hand...

**Eponine**: What?

**Kat:** Medea.

**Eponine:** What's that?

**Kat**: A Greek tragedy. Those silly Greeks.

**Eponine**: Indeed. I'm still not doing the show.

**Kat:** (Gets an idea. Gasp!) Will you at least look at the costume and set designs before you make your final decision?

**Eponine:** Fine.

( Kat leads Eponine to a room full of costume and set design sketches.)

**Eponine:** I can't wait to start.

(She bounds away.)

**Kat**: (chortles.) And my mother said I wouldn't learn anything by listening to the commentary.

**Javert**: (Enraged): KAT!

**Kat:** Oh shit. Yes Javert?

**Javert:** (Thrusts his costume sketch into Kat's face.) Look at this.

**Kat**: I see it.

**Javert:** How could you let someone draw this? This must be some cruel, sick joke! You can't expect me to wear this. I'd look like a common whore.

**Kat:** I drew it. In this world I have artistic talents. I do, and you will. And, that's the point.

**Javert**: What's the point?

**Kat: **You looking like a whore.

**Javert:** But why? Why would someone actually degrade themselves like this?

**Kat: **For fun.

**Javert**: This isn't my idea of fun. This is terrible. This is lawless. I don't understand.

**Kat:** You better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone, oh the time's they are a-changin'.

**Javert**: That's improper grammar.

**Kat:** Listen, Javvy, darling-

**Javert:** I draw the line at terms of endearment.

**Kat:** Listen the fuck up, you old son of a bitch.

**Javert:** Yes?

**Kat**: (Kat is having trouble explaining this to Javert.) Some modern people enjoy this sort of thing.

**Javert**: Like who?

**Kat.: **Well...there's me.

**Javert**: Who else?

**Kat**: I have a few friends who do.

J**avert**: A few?

**Kat: **Yeah. But there's tons of us on the internet.

**Javert**: I'm not going to do this.

**Kat:** Yes you are.

**Javert: **You can't make me.

**Kat:** Do you by any chance remember my Christmas party.

**Javert**: Up until I got some punch.

**Kat:** (grins) Would you like these to hit the streets. (Shows some photos to Javert.)

**Javert**: Is that me?

**Kat:** Yup.

**Javert:** And that's...oh, I'm going to be sick.

**Kat**: So. How do you feel about doing this?

**Javert**: This is blackmail.

**Kat**: (chuckles) It sure is.

**Javert**: I really hate you. You know that?

**Kat**: I do indeed.

A/N: Now that the Mizzies have aired their grievances, we'll start preforming next chapter.


End file.
